The Band

Del was born in South London during the crazy days of the mini skirt, the mini cooper and the mini wage packet. Raised by wolves like Mowgli in the Jungle Book, Del soon changed his name to Derek to avoid being associated with any popular TV sitcoms that might be written in the future. Hitting things really hard with wooden sticks and telling awful jokes became his passion and still live with him today. Del's musical influences are wide ranging, stretching from loud to louder to deafening. Not to mention The Beatles! I said don't mention The…. oh forget it!

Rob is one of the two founder members of the band. Born in the late 17th Century somewhere in South East London, Rob spent much of his youth sitting in the corner reading books until he was full up. Rob studied Barrack Room Law at Oxted University where he wrote his thesis 'How To Get You Own Way By Simply Shouting Loudly' which received critical acclaim from the National Intimidation Society. Rob's love of big fat books without any pictures soon inspired him to combine music with all these words he had learned. A songwriter was born. If only he knew which end of his keyboard to blow into!

The second founder member of The Last Word. Tony was born into Polish nobility and lived a lavishly extravagant lifestyle in the posh bit of South London enjoying all the privileges of royalty; colour tele, a Johnny Seven, shoes, everything he desired. Being exceptionally spoilt and greedy he demanded more, in the shape of a guitar. In fact it was a guitar. He too, suffered the initial problem of not knowing which end of it should be hit, but soon realised that it was not about playing the thing but about how long you could wear the strap. Thirty years and three chords later a rock star was born and promptly abandoned on Rob's door step with a collection of riffs and half written songs.

Another member of the band of indeterminate age. Born in India, probably, during the filming of Carry On Up The Khyber, Jon was quickly posted to England via City Link Couriers and was eventually delivered to London. He soon fought his way out of the inner city slums after taking a wrong turn when out shopping for truffles one afternoon, only to arrive home and be greeted with bewilderment by Mr and Mrs Taylor who had no idea who he was. Jon has spent much of his life travelling and is eternally grateful for the invention of the Sat Nav. Jon took up the piano as it was safer than driving and you were far less likely to get lost.

Born bloody ages ago, Brian spent much of his formative years engulfed in British MOD culture. National Service was a big mistake. He soon discovered the other mod culture and became a fashion icon sporting obligatory loafers and a 3-Tone tonic suit. Although musically influenced by a bloke obsessed by spiders and space travel called Ziggy, Brian was one day sent off to market with the last three magic beans, only to return clutching a Fender Stratocaster to the disappointment of his hungry family. Brian however has never looked back, despite regular physiotherapy.

Doug is the youngest member of the band but amazingly was somehow a personal friend of Queen Victoria. After spending much of his early life in the company of George V, Henry VIII and Katherine of Aragon (although that was never proved) Doug opted for the more simple honest life in the suburbs of South London. Doug's enthusiasm for music soon began to show and was only restricted by the price of guitar strings. Sadly, with his first hard earned wage packet of two groats Doug could only afford 4 strings. The rest, as they say, is none of your business.